A Drive Through Memory Lane!!!

The month of January is a hard month.  November is Thanksgiving, December is Christmas and even though it is cold, its a warm time in our hearts.  We get together with family and friends.  Football season and tailgating comes to an end.  I guess we should look at January as a new beginning and in a way it sort of is.  People make New Years Resolutions that they may or may not keep, but it is just a let down sort of month.  It is hard to keep up the good time feeling that has been going on through the holidays.

The month of January is a very hard month for my family because you see it was January 14th when my daughters lost their best friend, their brother, my husband lost his buddy, his son and I lost one of the dearest people im my life, my son.  It has been 16 years since he left us.  Sixteen long years in some ways and others, it seems like yesterday.

Mike and I took quite a little drive down memory lane this past week.  It was trifold.... You see the cemetery where Ryan's body lies is called Memory Lane.  So a drive out there is a for real drive through memory lane.  Then the other day we drove up to Binger to eat at one of our kids favorite places to eat when they were little.  I even had the fried chicken salad I always had.  From there we drove west to Three Way and then turned and went through Oney.  That is where I went to school and where Ryan and Krista started to school.  Then it was on south to Grandview Ranch where I grew up and where my children spent 5 of their best years of their lives too.  Nothing looks the same, but the memories are there.  I thought about my dad and the times I ran 3/4 of a mile down the road just to ride home on the tractor with him.  I thought about my kids playing under the same tree my brothers and I played under....by the way..... that tree is still there.  So many good memories.

After we left the area where I grew up we drove to our farm of sorts...72 acres of trees, Peck's Country, the sandrock hills.  This is the real memory lane for our family.  This is the place where we raised our kids.  I said 72 acres of trees...that's not really true any more.  The 72 acres of trees and the house burned up on father's day, June 19, 2011.  It really does not look the same.  I am not sure that the trees will ever grow back in our lifetime.  The drought has not helped.  Mike, Richard, Dewayne, JJ and Dustin have done some work to make it better, but there is a long way to go.  My kids loved this place and it is so hard to look at it like it is today.  We have our memories and thank goodness no one can take those from you.

So Mike and I took a real visit down memory lane, and drove down the roads of our memory lane, but we also took a virtual one remembering all the good times we had before January 14, 1997.  There have been many people ask how did you get through 1997, because we lost my mother that year too.  I was talking to a very good friend yesterday who has also experienced loss in her life.  She told me that she liked to think of it like this,  God is always there to pull you through the hard times, if you can just hold on tight enough to let him get you through it.  I can tell you that it was not always easy to hold on, sometimes it was just by a thread but we have made it this far.  There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of Ryan and remember him.  In our books he was a very special person.  I want to share with you a dedication that one of Ryan's wrestling coaches wrote about him.  I think it expresses how many people who knew Ryan felt

I can say this.....Ryan was a fighter....he never gave up!  One of our dear friends always called him Rambunctious Ryan and it always seem to fit him.  Because of his attitude, we too shall continue on, even when it is difficult and we don't understand.  We have made many good memories since he left us and we have many more to make in the future, but a couple of times a year...or a day....we think about those old memories and smile, and thank God we had you for 21 years.

The Important Things in Life

This fall all my Grand children started to school.  JJ is in second grade, Dominic is in Pre-K and so is miss Amara.  JJ and Amara go to school in OKC.  Dominic goes to school in Stillwater.  I have taught in several schools all across the state of Oklahoma.  I have worked as an Assistant County Superintendent, been a teacher of Kindergarten all the way up to 8th grade.  I have been on the school board for almost 2 years now.  I have taught in a very small school and what I would call a medium sized school.  I raised 3 children who went to public school and then I had 1 child go back east to a prep school and on to a military academy, plus 2 more who went to a state university.  Where am I going with this, I'm never really sure until I start writing where the story is going to go.  The one thing I know is that education has always been and always will be important to me and my family.

There are many ways that you can go to educate your children.  You can educate at home, which no matter what any Good parent does this.  You can send your child to private school.  You can also send them to public school.  When I grew up I went to a very small rural school in Southwest Oklahoma.  My dad was President of the school board for years.  My parents never said, do you want to go to college.  They asked me questions like, What college do you want to go to? or What will you major in when you go to college.  I chose a private, Christian school to begin with, but later transferred to Oklahoma State University to finish school.  Both schools were excellent and I made many lasting friends at both schools.  I also have many life long friends from that small rural school in Caddo County.

When Ryan was going in to 4th grade we decided to move in to the Anadarko School District.  The school was about 10 times bigger than Oney where he had been going to school.  We took a chance, but he adjusted well.  Anadarko is a very diverse community.  My children made friends with Native Americans, African Americans, Mexican, Asian and yes Caucasian students.  Mike and I felt that living in Anadarko was preparing our children for real life.  I feel we were able to accomplish what we set out to do.  Our children had friends from all races, religions and walks of life.  They went to public school and maybe they were exposed to some things in life that are not so good, but they learned at an early age how to select the people to hang out with.  We did many hours of home schooling I must say.  Mike was the go to Math tutor for our children and most of their friends.  I was the go to person to help write essays and speeches.  I sat many hours teaching my children at home how to outline and study. 

As I grew up I was in school clubs like 4-H and FHA.  My own children were in many groups some of which included Boy Scouts, Camp Fires, 4-H, FBLA, Student Council and more.  These clubs do so much to help shape our children.  Of course, they were also involved in their church, just as I was.  They all played sports and learned how to get along with their teammates.

If after 58 years of life I can give one piece of advice to my younger friends it is this:  Provide your child with many diverse activities, teach them right from wrong, be a good example of what you are preaching and always, always be involved in whatever your child is doing.  Take time, make time!!  I have been volunteering in my grandchildren's school for the last 3 years.  They love having me come and I get many more blessings by being there than they do.  Get to know your child's teacher.  Do Not just go to the school on parent/teacher conference day.  Do Not just go to the school when your child is in trouble.  Volunteer, help out your school.  Ask what you can do to help out at the school.  Go help at lunch time with playground duty, watch the cafeteria.  There are so many things that adults, parents can do.  Talk to your child when they come home.  Look at the papers they bring home.  Ask questions about what they are learning.  Listen to your child read, and read to them.  These are the things you can do to help your child become an adult that is an asset to society.

Last but certainly not least, hug your child, kiss your child and praise your child.  Let them know how much you love them.  This is not to say that your should over inflate their egos to the point that they think the world owes them.  There is such a thing as humility too, but help them to have a healthy self esteem.  Help them learn to be Good Citizens!  The best education, gift you can give your child can not be bought with money.....it is LOVE.

Orr Family Farm Pumpkin Patch Pre-K 2012

Orr Family Farm, first field day for Amara.

Our pretty girl, posing for me.

I met the NHES Pre-K at the Orr Family Farm in south OKC.  We had so much fun.  The farm was crawling with little people.  I had two kids....Amara and Aubrey.  They were so excited to ride the horses, feed the animals, go on a hayride, slide down the giant slide and bounce on the air pillows.  They were really surprised when I showed up with chicken nuggets too.

Miss Amara holding her little pumpkin.

Amanda joined us and got to share in Amara's excitement.  It is good that NHES still lets these kiddos go on field trips.  I am sure some of these kids had never been to any kind of farm.  They were very excited about ridding the bus too.  Adults forget how new all these experiences are to little children.

Each child gets to pick out their own pumpkin to take home.  This too is exciting for them.  Amara wanted a little pumpkin because she is little.  I am so glad that I have retired and I am able to go and share in these once in a lifetime experiences with my grandkids.  I am really blessed.  Hope you enjoy the pictures of the kids on this special day.

Ms. Luster's Class

The Rattlesnake Run 2012!!!!!!!

Nichols Hills Elementary School has an annual Rattlesnake Run to help raise money for their school.  This money goes to furnish things for the kids at the school.  It even helps pay for bus drivers so the children in this school can go on field trips.  Each child is ask to get at least $25.00 in donations.  Each student then pledges to run at least 1 mile.  Since the elementary school does not have a track, the students are bused to one of the middle schools that does have a track.  It takes many volunteers to run this race.  Three years ago I volunteered to help for an hour and ended up staying all day. Last year Mike and I volunteered to help and stayed all day.  This year Amanda, Mike and I all  three helped with this.  We had so much fun watching kids from 4 years old to 12 years old run at least 1 mile.  One four year old ran 1.5 miles in about 20 minutes.  Some of them are amazing.  Others struggle, but they smile when you encourage them and tell them they can do it.   Many parents come just to watch their child run and you can see it on their face how excited they are to have mom or dad there to watch them.

This year many of the middle school students, some who went to this elementary school, came out to cheer on the runners.  The cheerleaders dressed in the cheer outfits and stayed out there all day cheering on these little kids.  The kids loved it.

Someone else donated water and snacks for the students.  They come one grade level at a time.  The Pre-K and 6th grade ran together and the rest of the grades were just that one grade.  Of course this fun raiser also promotes a healthy lifestyle.  I was happy to see that even the students that one might consider over-weight were still able to run/walk their mile.  I was proud of them and I know they were proud of themselves.

Kids and Carnivals!!!!

Last Thursday night was the school carnival for Nichols Hills Elementary School in Oklahoma City.  That is where JJ and Amara go to school.  It was held at a very nice large church who has a large gym, a patio with nice tables and chairs and a huge, lush, green lawn.  The PTA puts on a great carnival for those kiddos.   There are a couple of inflatables outside and a dunk tank.  The young boys enjoy the large field where they can play football.  I really like the way they do it.  The kids buy wrist bands for $8 in advance.  It costs more if you wait till that night to buy your wrist band.  If they keep their wrist band on until the next morning they can be tardy and it doesn't count against them.  The wrist band allows them to do everything at the carnival for free ($8).  There is a cake walk... football throw, ring toss, face painting, mummy wrap, a hotdog, chips and a drink.  They also have a silent auction for several homemade items.  Painted pumpkins, wreaths and more.  The whole family comes and all the parents really get to know each other.  I'm not sure how much money they earned for the school, but it's quite abit.  The main thing is that parents, kids and friends get to have a good time and interact with other families.

Retirement--Who knew!

Who knew, I certainly did not.  I grew up on a farm where everyone worked.  We did not all do the same job, but we all worked.  I am quite sure my brothers felt I did not work as hard as they did, but the truth be known, they did not want to do the jobs I did.  They moved pipe, drove tractors and fed cattle, I fed animals, went to get the nurse cow, helped mom with the garden, orchard, canning and freezing food for later, and of course cooking and cleaning.  My first paying job was in college.  I graduated from college on a Friday and started my first job using my degree the next Monday.  The point of this, I have worked all of my life, so when Mike started begging me to reitre and stay home, I was not really on board at first.  He finally convinced me to do it and WOW, I am so glad I did.

Since I have retired I am soooo busy.  I really don't know how I did it.  How did I go to work and take care of kids, go to all of their activities, and keep house.... well, maybe I didn't really keep house all that well, but my kids were always fed, clean bodies and clean clothes and I am pretty sure they knew they were loved beyond measure.  I look back and get tired just thinking about it.  There were even times when I had more than 1 job, but we did it.

Now I am always going and doing.  Mike and I get to pick and choose what we do, but we are always on the go.  I am thankful that I worked hard in my younger years and now can have the time to be able to go to my grandkids activities.  Every day I am doing something.  I have read more books, that I did not have time to read before, I have time to write, but have not been doing near as much as I want to or as I should.  I want to leave something for my children and grandchildren to be able to look back on and know what I was like, what our life was like and understand their heritage.  The main thing is Mike and I get to spend more time together.  Believe it or not, we always made time for each other, but now we spend most of our time together.  I'm sure glad I married someone who is also a great friend and that we can talk, be together and get along.  I love my children and I did everything I could for them while they were growing up and still do what I can for them, but I always tried to put Mike first and I know he did me.  I have seen others who put their spouse on the back burner when their kids came along and then when the kids were gone, they were strangers.  I am so glad that we did not do that.

It helps to marry someone you have common interests with.  Mike and I both like sports....I may like them more than he does.  We both like to travel, thank goodness.  We both like to eat....I guess that is pretty easy to figure out.  We have so many things we agree on, but of course we don't agree on everything.  There are times we have to agree to disagree.  LOL  We have always encouraged each other to do our own thing too.  I have my girl friends and he has his guy friends too.  I probably do more in that way than he does, but he does go have coffee with the guys when he wants.  We love going to see the kids in the community in their activities....music, drama, sports..it's nice to get out and see all the people, since I am home most days.

One of my very favorite things about being retired is being able to go out and eat lunch.  School teachers just don't have enough time to go sit down, order, visit with a friend and eat.  Now, Mike and I can go eat lunch and never have to hurry, because we can take as long as we like.  It is wonderful!

This is my third year not to teach, so I have been home for two years now.  I have yet to get everything done that  I want to do, but I will get it done at my own pace.  I can highly recommend being retired, I think most will think it agrees with me.  I looked at  my blog page today and saw that I have hardly blogged at all for the last 9 months.  I'm going to try to change that.  Look for more thoughts from me from now on.  I am going to take time and do it.

PS.....I still work, but just different now, but I have to be honest.....I also do some of that relaxing stuff, and that makes my hubby very happy.

The Birthday Boy!!!!

It is hard to remember the first time I met Michael Lee McComas.  It was probably in the summer of 1964.  He moved to Anadarko with his family just before his 3rd grade year in school.  He was a grade behind me and to be quite truthful, I hardly noticed him.  He did have a couple of very cute little brothers that were only about 3 or 4 years old.  Now that takes care of when I met him, the question is when did I really notice him.  I'm not sure about that either.  I do remember him sitting in the back of the Sunday school class, but again, I didn't pay much attention to him.  I hung out with people who were older than me....not guys who were 17 months younger than me.  Then as time would have it, my friends started to grow up and go off to college and that's when I really started to notice him.

When I was a Junior and he was a Sophomore we did start to talk to each other. He wasn't such a jurk any more.  LOL  We became friends, and I mean that, we were just friends.  We started to hang out together and found out we had some things in common.  We were friends for quite awhile when I decided to ask him to go with me to a banquet at school, as a friend.  I guess you could say that was the beginning of a very long term  relationship.  That was February 1971.  Some people might say "And the rest is history."  That's true it is but there were many, many ups and downs before we got married and after, but as my son's favorite song says....Life's a Dance and you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.  If you didn't already know this, now you know where the title of my Blog Spot came from.

Where is all this leading, you thought I was going to write about Mike's Birthday.  I had to lead up to his birthday.  So here goes,  Mike turned 57 today and we have been together for almost 42 years.  He was 15 when we started dating and we neither one remember much of what our life was like before we got together.  I want young people to know that LOVE has to grow, sometimes the best thing that can happen to you is to fall in love with a person who is just a friend.  Little did I know that I really had found my soul mate.  This man was just a boy when I first looked into those piercing baby blues, but over the years I have come to understand that he was The One!  Oh sure, I still want to kill him at times.  There is no one on earth who can make me madder, sadder, happier or laugh more than Michael can.  He is the most loyal person I know.  He will do anything for you, if you are his friend and probably will go the extra mile even if you are not.  I've told you what a great "Bop"  he is to his grands, but I'm not sure I've ever told you just how lucky I was to find a man who has always told me to follow my dreams.  He has  never held me back from anything I have wanted to do.

Forty-one years ago today Mike and I both were so excited.....He turned 16 and he could get a drivers license, but he had to wait almost a week to take the test and then as luck or bad driving would have it, he failed his test and then we had to wait again. ( Don't tell him I told you this)  It was really August before he got to drive legally.  Now he does all the driving.  We have spent every July 23rd together ever since.  I look forward to spending another 40 more.  The one thing Michael always says, "I always told you that our life would not be boring".  He was right about that.  I hope that over these last 41 years that I have been able to bring as much happiness to him as he has to me.  I think that I now can say that I truly love this man.

Happy Happy Birthday to my Best Friend....Michael!