Today I was reading through Face Book and I was very impressed to see how many people were posting about their dads. Almost every post was about how their dad was the best dad ever and then there were the posts about husbands being the best dad ever and of course moms posting how proud they are of their sons being the best dad ever. The thoughts about Father's Day, aka Dad's Day, and I was just in awe over how wonderful it is for those of us who have such great memories of our dad, husband, brother, or son. We are very blessed and should thank God every day that we received such a blessing.
You see, I lived a charmed life. I had two parents who loved each other very much. That couple had three children. I was the youngest and the only girl, so I guess you could say I was Daddy's Girl. Our family had everything we needed. We were not rich but the farm we lived on provided us with all of our needs. My dad was a farmer/rancher and my mother was a full time homemaker until I was in the 7th grade. We didn't go on family vacations, but we did go to lots of stockshows together and our family did quite a bit of traveling, just not all of us at the same time. My parents never, and I mean never, fought in front of us kids. They took us to church at least 3 times a week and were great examples and teachers of our Christian faith. My prayer was to have a family like my parents.
My children grew up with two parents that had been in love since we were in our teens. We went through our share of ups and downs. I can't say my children never saw us argue, but they did know we loved each other and we loved them. We tried to do for our children as much as we could. We were able to travel, let them play summer ball, go to the lake and let them know just how important family is. I tried to teach our kids to respect themselves and each other as well as other people out there.
Where am I going with this. I got to thinking about all of those children out there that can not post what a wonderful father they have. So many children do not get to experience what I did growing up or what my children did growing up. There are even those who had two parents their whole lives but the dad was not much of a dad or mom wasn't much of a mom....or both. It breaks your heart to hear a young child say, I don't have a dad, of course some have to say they don't have a mom. Either way it is just heartbreaking. Sometimes it is because a parent has died, sometimes it is because that parent is incarcerated, sometimes it is because that parent is an absentee parent, and unfortunately sometimes it is because circumstances have made situations where the court has to step in with a protective order against a parent to keep that child safe. There are so many moms and dads that are single parents today. I am talking really Single parents where the other parent is not in the picture at all. This is where grandparents and aunts and uncles step in to help make sure these kids have the correct role models in their lives. When you see one of these single parents that is doing all they can to be both mom and dad to their kids, give them a word of encouragement. Offer them some help if you can whether it is emotional, financial or time. I am afraid if you took a pole on FB, there are many more who would not nominate their dad for Father of the Year than would.
So if you do have the best dad ever out there, which you can't because my dad was the best dad ever, but if you think your dad was....be sure and tell him and for those great husband/dads, and son/dads...let them know also. And then, try to make it a little easier for some other child who doesn't have a dad to tell Happy Father's Day to. I am not trying to bring you down, but I am saying that these holidays are hard for these children. Say a little prayer for these kids, I know I'm going to. I also challenge you to be that Best Dad or Mom Ever!!! If you need an example just think of your Heavenly Father, who was willing to give it all so you can have Eternal Life. He set the bar pretty high.
'
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
"39 Years" but who's counting?
Who knew back in February 1971 when Mike and I started dating that 42 years later Mike and I would be celebrating 39 years of being married. The statistics were against us. Mike was only 15 and I had just turned 17. His mom would ride with him out to get me for our dates, I was his licensed driver while in town on our date and then his dad would ride with us to take me home. He would lay down in the back seat and sleep on the ride along. I suppose not too many people started dating like that..... oh yes, I forgot to tell you that most of the time his three younger brothers and one of their friends would need a ride to the show.....so they accompanied us to the movie theater many times.
We dated my last year and a half of high school. Then I went to college. We broke up for a few months after I first went to college, but by Thanksgiving we were back together and never broke up again after that. We got engaged right before Mike graduated from high school, but we waited a year later to get married. May 24th, 1974 we tied the knot with all our family there to wish us well. Ryan was born in September of 1975, Krista in March of 1980 and Amanda sixteen months later in July of 1981. Yep I was pretty crazy.
In all these years neither Mike nor I have ever forgotten our anniversary, until this year. We didn't really forget it. We had talked about it. He was working that night and I am on the school board so I was supposed to be at Anadarko High School graduation. I was in Stillwater until about noon or so and then drove home. I got home about an hour before Mike had to leave and go to work. Guess what we both went all day without telling each other Happy Anniversary. One of my friends called me to say she just wanted to wish me a happy anniversary. That's when I realized that we neither one had remembered to say anything to the other. I called Mike up and we had a laugh about it. We have had a pretty exciting couple of weeks. We have both had several doctor's appointments and then Kristian decided to come early. I have been in Stillwater with the baby and then Mike's brother who lives in Moore had tornado damage. That's not even counting trying to keep laundry done at home, mow the lawn and get the flower beds in shape. I'm glad I retired so I have time to do all these things. LOL
Next year will be 40 years and you can bet on it that neither of us will forget it then. Mike will probably be working, but he might just have to take off for that. Our lives have had its' ups and downs but through the years we grew up together. You can't spend that much time together and not grow to be more alike. We both have our own interests but as I have said before we always made time for each other. I'm sure we both had a few times when we wanted to throw in the towel, but instead we just learned how to rely on each other. I can't believe that in 11 more years we will hit that 50th Golden Anniversary. Old people are married for 50 years and I won't be old. How can that be. Here's hoping the next 11 years are at least close to as good as the last 39 have been.
We dated my last year and a half of high school. Then I went to college. We broke up for a few months after I first went to college, but by Thanksgiving we were back together and never broke up again after that. We got engaged right before Mike graduated from high school, but we waited a year later to get married. May 24th, 1974 we tied the knot with all our family there to wish us well. Ryan was born in September of 1975, Krista in March of 1980 and Amanda sixteen months later in July of 1981. Yep I was pretty crazy.
In all these years neither Mike nor I have ever forgotten our anniversary, until this year. We didn't really forget it. We had talked about it. He was working that night and I am on the school board so I was supposed to be at Anadarko High School graduation. I was in Stillwater until about noon or so and then drove home. I got home about an hour before Mike had to leave and go to work. Guess what we both went all day without telling each other Happy Anniversary. One of my friends called me to say she just wanted to wish me a happy anniversary. That's when I realized that we neither one had remembered to say anything to the other. I called Mike up and we had a laugh about it. We have had a pretty exciting couple of weeks. We have both had several doctor's appointments and then Kristian decided to come early. I have been in Stillwater with the baby and then Mike's brother who lives in Moore had tornado damage. That's not even counting trying to keep laundry done at home, mow the lawn and get the flower beds in shape. I'm glad I retired so I have time to do all these things. LOL
Next year will be 40 years and you can bet on it that neither of us will forget it then. Mike will probably be working, but he might just have to take off for that. Our lives have had its' ups and downs but through the years we grew up together. You can't spend that much time together and not grow to be more alike. We both have our own interests but as I have said before we always made time for each other. I'm sure we both had a few times when we wanted to throw in the towel, but instead we just learned how to rely on each other. I can't believe that in 11 more years we will hit that 50th Golden Anniversary. Old people are married for 50 years and I won't be old. How can that be. Here's hoping the next 11 years are at least close to as good as the last 39 have been.
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| Then |
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| Now |
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Kristian James Graff
Our youngest blessing decided to make an early appearance on May 6, 2013 at 9:13 pm. He weighed in at 8 lbs. and 21 inches long. When I first looked at him I thought he looked alot like his brother, Dominic, but at further investigation he looks more like his Uncle Ryan Michael McComas, not to be confused with his Uncle Ryan Michael Graff. He really does look very much like Ryan's baby pictures. Dominic on the other hand is pretty much a carbon copy of his dad. Anyway, Kristian really made havoc of my plans for the week. He was on the schedule for Friday, May 10th. We managed to get through the week without too many problems. Thanks goodness that even though Krista went into labor and that was not supposed to happen, she and Kristian are both doing great. There have been a few bumps but we all have managed.
Kristian has darker hair that Dominic did when he was born. He's also a little shorter but he's a good baby and he does like to cuddle just like Dominic did. I think this little guy is going to keep us on our toes. We just thank God that he is here and both mom and son are well.
Welcome to our family Mr. Kristian James Graff. You have already stollen our hearts and can't imagine not having you in our world. Gi Gi loves YOU!
Kristian has darker hair that Dominic did when he was born. He's also a little shorter but he's a good baby and he does like to cuddle just like Dominic did. I think this little guy is going to keep us on our toes. We just thank God that he is here and both mom and son are well.
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| One Day old |
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| 1 Day Old |
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| Kristian Three Days old |
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| The whole Family |
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| One Week |
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| Kristian Two Weeks old |
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Krista Michelle....The Quiet One
Back in 1980 I would go to the doctor and he would say, "You are having another boy, Jackie", and I would say "No, this is just a nice quiet little girl." I was right and he was wrong. As I am trying to think back, I can't remember my due date but, I think it was the 19th. I went into labor on the 20th and she was born at 1:07pm on the 21st. She was perfect, not one blemish. That was because she did not help at all to get here. She left that all up to me. The labor was not really all that bad, but the delivery was work. Mike was very ornery because he carried her out and would not tell anyone whether she was a girl or a boy. We did not know those things in advance back then, even though I did have an ultra sound with her....they just were not clear like they are today. Mike was one of four boys so his family really wanted a girl. There were also already two grandsons. When we finally told everyone that it was Krista Michelle, Mike's dad said, "You finally did something right." Even as a she grew she remained our quiet child. Now, along with quiet sometimes comes sneaky. That's two adjectives that describe our Krista....quiet and sneaky.
She was and still is a great gift to our family. She looked so much like her Nan Naw, Mary Jo. Mary Jo was diagnosed with a brain tumor when Krista was 3 months old, so her looking like her and so much like her in other ways was rather ironic. She was an easy keeper. She had hazel eyes like my dad and she had very fair skin like me. She had light blond hair and we had to check to make sure she was breathing because she was so quiet. This was the complete opposite of her brother. He got moved out of our room at night when he was about 2 weeks old because he made so much noise.
Mary Jo kept her the last four weeks of school when I had to go back, but we took her to day care when school started back in the fall. They fought over her at the baby sitter. She absolutely hated being put down on the floor, so she didn't crawl until she was 9 months old. Then she was walking very well by 10 months. Ryan loved her and thought he was big enough to carry her around. He really wasn't big enough. She pointed at what she wanted and Ryan got it for her. She didn't really talk much at all until after she was two. This was definitely the opposite of her brother. She remained quiet throughout grade school. She was so quiet that even after she got older and had a sister 16 months younger than her, there were people who only knew we had Ryan and Amanda. They would be like, "I didn't know you had three kids". I'm telling you, she was a very quiet child and could entertain herself.
Krista was also very good at climbing out of her car seat. They were not as good as the ones today, but I would buckle her in and the next thing I knew she was out. She has always been able to do just about anything she puts her mind to. She will practice over and over until she can do it. This became very clear when she decided to roller skate. If at first you don't succeed try, try again was her motto.
Krista was also my puny child. She was in and out of the hospital a couple of times before she was a year old. We put her through the infectious disease center at Children's Hospital. She just didn't have a very good immune system. She got that from Mary Jo too. She's allergic to many antibiotics and other meds. I am happy that after going through the allergy clinic twice and getting older we found a bio- cranial chiropractor that has been able to help her be much healthier. Let me tell you, it has made a wonderful difference in her life. Being sick is not fun.
Krista is tenacious and I mean that in a good way. If you want something done and done right just ask her to do it. Today she has a degree from Oklahoma State University, a husband, a son and another one on the way, and is special events planner for the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. She loves wrestling and loves her job working with all the people involved in wrestling. She has spent her birthday since 1998 at the NCAA Wrestling Tournament.
Krista Michelle McComas Graff, I am so glad that God saw fit to let me be your mother. You have made your dad and I proud. What a blessing you and your family are to us. This has been a great 33 years and may you have many more.
She was and still is a great gift to our family. She looked so much like her Nan Naw, Mary Jo. Mary Jo was diagnosed with a brain tumor when Krista was 3 months old, so her looking like her and so much like her in other ways was rather ironic. She was an easy keeper. She had hazel eyes like my dad and she had very fair skin like me. She had light blond hair and we had to check to make sure she was breathing because she was so quiet. This was the complete opposite of her brother. He got moved out of our room at night when he was about 2 weeks old because he made so much noise.
Mary Jo kept her the last four weeks of school when I had to go back, but we took her to day care when school started back in the fall. They fought over her at the baby sitter. She absolutely hated being put down on the floor, so she didn't crawl until she was 9 months old. Then she was walking very well by 10 months. Ryan loved her and thought he was big enough to carry her around. He really wasn't big enough. She pointed at what she wanted and Ryan got it for her. She didn't really talk much at all until after she was two. This was definitely the opposite of her brother. She remained quiet throughout grade school. She was so quiet that even after she got older and had a sister 16 months younger than her, there were people who only knew we had Ryan and Amanda. They would be like, "I didn't know you had three kids". I'm telling you, she was a very quiet child and could entertain herself.
Krista was also very good at climbing out of her car seat. They were not as good as the ones today, but I would buckle her in and the next thing I knew she was out. She has always been able to do just about anything she puts her mind to. She will practice over and over until she can do it. This became very clear when she decided to roller skate. If at first you don't succeed try, try again was her motto.
Krista was also my puny child. She was in and out of the hospital a couple of times before she was a year old. We put her through the infectious disease center at Children's Hospital. She just didn't have a very good immune system. She got that from Mary Jo too. She's allergic to many antibiotics and other meds. I am happy that after going through the allergy clinic twice and getting older we found a bio- cranial chiropractor that has been able to help her be much healthier. Let me tell you, it has made a wonderful difference in her life. Being sick is not fun.
Krista is tenacious and I mean that in a good way. If you want something done and done right just ask her to do it. Today she has a degree from Oklahoma State University, a husband, a son and another one on the way, and is special events planner for the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. She loves wrestling and loves her job working with all the people involved in wrestling. She has spent her birthday since 1998 at the NCAA Wrestling Tournament.
Krista Michelle McComas Graff, I am so glad that God saw fit to let me be your mother. You have made your dad and I proud. What a blessing you and your family are to us. This has been a great 33 years and may you have many more.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
What is Religious Freedom Supposed to Be???
What does it mean to be free. Why did our ancestors come across those waters so many years ago. We all know the little saying Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492. We also know he was looking for a short cut to India. We hear that many came to the America's to have religious freedom. Many of these people who came for religious freedom were being made to worship a church that had been established by their government. So......... what does religious freedom really mean. This is when and where the separation of State and Church came into being. Does that mean we must be free to do whatever we want to do anywhere we want in the name of religious freedom. I REALLY don't think that is what our founding fathers had in mind. I think what they were trying to say was that each and everyone one of us should have the right to worship who we want, and not be forced to worship who the government tells us to. That means EVERYONE has a right to be religious or not.
I am a Christian and proud of it. I pray anywhere and anytime I want. That does not mean that I have to get down on my knees and say my prayer out loud so everyone can hear it. I DO NOT PRAY FOR SHOW. My prayers are between myself and God. I choose to believe that the life I lead will be my testament to the fact that I am a Christian. I am not perfect and I ask God in prayer every day to help me to be a better Christian. This does not mean that I never share the word of God with others, but it does mean that I chose when and where to do that. Not to just do it so people can look at me and think I am trying to put myself above others. I was taught to pray by my parents and other Christians who made up the church I attended. My parents were not really keen on the idea that someone at my school teaching me to pray, reading the Bible to me, or someone from another church coming to school to recruit us to come to a church revival. All these things happened at school. If Christians are allowed to do this, then any other religion should be allowed to practice their religion at school. Most of us really would not like that. That means that those who do NOT Believe in God should be allowed to practice their non religion. I'm sure not very many people would be comfortable with that. YOU have religious freedom, I have religious freedom, and so does everyone else.
I may upset some with this blog, but I truly believe that we can teach our children to have good morals without teaching religion in our schools. If you truly want your child taught religion at school, then you should send them to a church affiliated school that you trust to teach your child these things. I don't begrudge anyone who feels strongly about it to do that. Mike and I chose to teach the Bible to our own children at home and at the church of our choice. Mike and I did that so that our children would be prepared for the world out there that awaited them. They choose to do the same with their children. Just as my children learned from their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, Sunday school teachers, and ministers our grandchildren are learning from that same infrastructure.
So when I say I really am not for putting prayer and reading the Bible back in school, don't judge me and think that I don't believe in the Bible or Prayer....nothing is further from the truth. At the school I taught at the last 20 years we gave each child a full minute to say a silent prayer if that is what they wanted to do. They also allowed the students to gather at the pole to pray, but this is all voluntary and not forced. The school does not come off as anti prayer or Bible. They just respect the rights of all people not just those who proclaim to be Christian.
Our country was not founded on religious freedom but on FREEDOM. Freedom for all, not just for some, but for ALL. I don't have to agree with their beliefs, but I do have to understand that this country says they do have the same freedom I do.
I am a Christian and proud of it. I pray anywhere and anytime I want. That does not mean that I have to get down on my knees and say my prayer out loud so everyone can hear it. I DO NOT PRAY FOR SHOW. My prayers are between myself and God. I choose to believe that the life I lead will be my testament to the fact that I am a Christian. I am not perfect and I ask God in prayer every day to help me to be a better Christian. This does not mean that I never share the word of God with others, but it does mean that I chose when and where to do that. Not to just do it so people can look at me and think I am trying to put myself above others. I was taught to pray by my parents and other Christians who made up the church I attended. My parents were not really keen on the idea that someone at my school teaching me to pray, reading the Bible to me, or someone from another church coming to school to recruit us to come to a church revival. All these things happened at school. If Christians are allowed to do this, then any other religion should be allowed to practice their religion at school. Most of us really would not like that. That means that those who do NOT Believe in God should be allowed to practice their non religion. I'm sure not very many people would be comfortable with that. YOU have religious freedom, I have religious freedom, and so does everyone else.
I may upset some with this blog, but I truly believe that we can teach our children to have good morals without teaching religion in our schools. If you truly want your child taught religion at school, then you should send them to a church affiliated school that you trust to teach your child these things. I don't begrudge anyone who feels strongly about it to do that. Mike and I chose to teach the Bible to our own children at home and at the church of our choice. Mike and I did that so that our children would be prepared for the world out there that awaited them. They choose to do the same with their children. Just as my children learned from their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, Sunday school teachers, and ministers our grandchildren are learning from that same infrastructure.
So when I say I really am not for putting prayer and reading the Bible back in school, don't judge me and think that I don't believe in the Bible or Prayer....nothing is further from the truth. At the school I taught at the last 20 years we gave each child a full minute to say a silent prayer if that is what they wanted to do. They also allowed the students to gather at the pole to pray, but this is all voluntary and not forced. The school does not come off as anti prayer or Bible. They just respect the rights of all people not just those who proclaim to be Christian.
Our country was not founded on religious freedom but on FREEDOM. Freedom for all, not just for some, but for ALL. I don't have to agree with their beliefs, but I do have to understand that this country says they do have the same freedom I do.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
March is JJ's Month!!!!
Well here it is March. I guess it is true that time flies when you are having fun. Time flies anyway. I retired May 2010. Since that time my life seems so busy. Mike says I traded a paying job for many non-paying job. The thing is I can say yes if I want or NO. Well, most of the time I CAN say no, but I don't. I have been preparing myself for the fact that the next two weeks are going to be very busy. My grandkids are coming to stay with us. JJ and Amara will be here tomorrow and then Dominic will be here next week end. I hope that the weather cooperates so they can play outside. They all love to play outside. I am excited for them to be here. They don't come as much as they used to, but they do come when they have a break at school. They are all growing up so much. It's hard to believe that JJ will be 8 years old next week. It's hard to put into words just how much I love this boy.
JJ is one of the sweetest boys that I know. He still comes up to me and says "GiGi I need a hug." Believe me I cherish each of those hugs, because it won't be long before he thinks he's too big to give me one. I hope he always wants a hug. He is very smart and makes good grades at school. He's such a likeable kid, because he has such a good heart. He is a peace maker. He can't stand for anyone to be mad at him. He gets his feelings hurt pretty easy though. He loves to go to church and help out with the jobs they allow young boys to do. He loves his sister and is very protective of her....of course until she gets into his stuff.
JJ loves all sports. He loves to watch and play just about any sport. He is 8 and has already played baseball, basketball, soccer, flag football, rides his bike, four wheeler, scooter and does anything else that he can be active at. He loves to help his Bop. I am quite sure he will be a good athlete. He works very hard at everything his does.
I must say that JJ has been a very large blessing to our family. Born on St. Patricks Day, he must be lucky. He is just about as good as it gets in the way of 8 year old boys. I love you JJ!
JJ is one of the sweetest boys that I know. He still comes up to me and says "GiGi I need a hug." Believe me I cherish each of those hugs, because it won't be long before he thinks he's too big to give me one. I hope he always wants a hug. He is very smart and makes good grades at school. He's such a likeable kid, because he has such a good heart. He is a peace maker. He can't stand for anyone to be mad at him. He gets his feelings hurt pretty easy though. He loves to go to church and help out with the jobs they allow young boys to do. He loves his sister and is very protective of her....of course until she gets into his stuff.
JJ loves all sports. He loves to watch and play just about any sport. He is 8 and has already played baseball, basketball, soccer, flag football, rides his bike, four wheeler, scooter and does anything else that he can be active at. He loves to help his Bop. I am quite sure he will be a good athlete. He works very hard at everything his does.
I must say that JJ has been a very large blessing to our family. Born on St. Patricks Day, he must be lucky. He is just about as good as it gets in the way of 8 year old boys. I love you JJ!
Monday, January 21, 2013
A Drive Through Memory Lane!!!
The month of January is a hard month. November is Thanksgiving, December is Christmas and even though it is cold, its a warm time in our hearts. We get together with family and friends. Football season and tailgating comes to an end. I guess we should look at January as a new beginning and in a way it sort of is. People make New Years Resolutions that they may or may not keep, but it is just a let down sort of month. It is hard to keep up the good time feeling that has been going on through the holidays.
The month of January is a very hard month for my family because you see it was January 14th when my daughters lost their best friend, their brother, my husband lost his buddy, his son and I lost one of the dearest people im my life, my son. It has been 16 years since he left us. Sixteen long years in some ways and others, it seems like yesterday.
Mike and I took quite a little drive down memory lane this past week. It was trifold.... You see the cemetery where Ryan's body lies is called Memory Lane. So a drive out there is a for real drive through memory lane. Then the other day we drove up to Binger to eat at one of our kids favorite places to eat when they were little. I even had the fried chicken salad I always had. From there we drove west to Three Way and then turned and went through Oney. That is where I went to school and where Ryan and Krista started to school. Then it was on south to Grandview Ranch where I grew up and where my children spent 5 of their best years of their lives too. Nothing looks the same, but the memories are there. I thought about my dad and the times I ran 3/4 of a mile down the road just to ride home on the tractor with him. I thought about my kids playing under the same tree my brothers and I played under....by the way..... that tree is still there. So many good memories.
After we left the area where I grew up we drove to our farm of sorts...72 acres of trees, Peck's Country, the sandrock hills. This is the real memory lane for our family. This is the place where we raised our kids. I said 72 acres of trees...that's not really true any more. The 72 acres of trees and the house burned up on father's day, June 19, 2011. It really does not look the same. I am not sure that the trees will ever grow back in our lifetime. The drought has not helped. Mike, Richard, Dewayne, JJ and Dustin have done some work to make it better, but there is a long way to go. My kids loved this place and it is so hard to look at it like it is today. We have our memories and thank goodness no one can take those from you.
So Mike and I took a real visit down memory lane, and drove down the roads of our memory lane, but we also took a virtual one remembering all the good times we had before January 14, 1997. There have been many people ask how did you get through 1997, because we lost my mother that year too. I was talking to a very good friend yesterday who has also experienced loss in her life. She told me that she liked to think of it like this, God is always there to pull you through the hard times, if you can just hold on tight enough to let him get you through it. I can tell you that it was not always easy to hold on, sometimes it was just by a thread but we have made it this far. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of Ryan and remember him. In our books he was a very special person. I want to share with you a dedication that one of Ryan's wrestling coaches wrote about him. I think it expresses how many people who knew Ryan felt
I can say this.....Ryan was a fighter....he never gave up! One of our dear friends always called him Rambunctious Ryan and it always seem to fit him. Because of his attitude, we too shall continue on, even when it is difficult and we don't understand. We have made many good memories since he left us and we have many more to make in the future, but a couple of times a year...or a day....we think about those old memories and smile, and thank God we had you for 21 years.
The month of January is a very hard month for my family because you see it was January 14th when my daughters lost their best friend, their brother, my husband lost his buddy, his son and I lost one of the dearest people im my life, my son. It has been 16 years since he left us. Sixteen long years in some ways and others, it seems like yesterday.
Mike and I took quite a little drive down memory lane this past week. It was trifold.... You see the cemetery where Ryan's body lies is called Memory Lane. So a drive out there is a for real drive through memory lane. Then the other day we drove up to Binger to eat at one of our kids favorite places to eat when they were little. I even had the fried chicken salad I always had. From there we drove west to Three Way and then turned and went through Oney. That is where I went to school and where Ryan and Krista started to school. Then it was on south to Grandview Ranch where I grew up and where my children spent 5 of their best years of their lives too. Nothing looks the same, but the memories are there. I thought about my dad and the times I ran 3/4 of a mile down the road just to ride home on the tractor with him. I thought about my kids playing under the same tree my brothers and I played under....by the way..... that tree is still there. So many good memories.
After we left the area where I grew up we drove to our farm of sorts...72 acres of trees, Peck's Country, the sandrock hills. This is the real memory lane for our family. This is the place where we raised our kids. I said 72 acres of trees...that's not really true any more. The 72 acres of trees and the house burned up on father's day, June 19, 2011. It really does not look the same. I am not sure that the trees will ever grow back in our lifetime. The drought has not helped. Mike, Richard, Dewayne, JJ and Dustin have done some work to make it better, but there is a long way to go. My kids loved this place and it is so hard to look at it like it is today. We have our memories and thank goodness no one can take those from you.
So Mike and I took a real visit down memory lane, and drove down the roads of our memory lane, but we also took a virtual one remembering all the good times we had before January 14, 1997. There have been many people ask how did you get through 1997, because we lost my mother that year too. I was talking to a very good friend yesterday who has also experienced loss in her life. She told me that she liked to think of it like this, God is always there to pull you through the hard times, if you can just hold on tight enough to let him get you through it. I can tell you that it was not always easy to hold on, sometimes it was just by a thread but we have made it this far. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of Ryan and remember him. In our books he was a very special person. I want to share with you a dedication that one of Ryan's wrestling coaches wrote about him. I think it expresses how many people who knew Ryan felt
I can say this.....Ryan was a fighter....he never gave up! One of our dear friends always called him Rambunctious Ryan and it always seem to fit him. Because of his attitude, we too shall continue on, even when it is difficult and we don't understand. We have made many good memories since he left us and we have many more to make in the future, but a couple of times a year...or a day....we think about those old memories and smile, and thank God we had you for 21 years.
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